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The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

Former soldier and current hitman for the Croatian mafia in New York, Tomislav Bok拧i膰, nicknamed Toxic, has dispatched roughly 125 people. It鈥檚 a fully ingrained way of life for Toxic鈥攈e feels 鈥渞estless if three months go by without firing a gun鈥濃攁nd takes pride in his professionalism. As a 鈥渢riple six-packer,鈥 he even holds something of a record in the business: his last 18 consecutive hits have not only been completed successfully, but each was accomplished with a single bullet apiece. But as Hallgr铆mur Helgason鈥檚 The Hitman鈥檚 Guide to Housecleaning opens, Toxic is in trouble: 鈥淗it #66 was a miss,鈥 he says.

Don鈥檛 get me wrong. I got the bullet into the guy鈥檚 head safe and sound, but there was some serious aftermath. The mustached Polish guy turned out to be a mustached FBI guy. What was supposed to be a bright and sunny murder in broad daylight became a nightmare.

Which is how Toxic ends up going into hiding, fleeing his cushy life in New York City and heading back to Croatia to maintain his 鈥淟PP, or Lowest Possible Profile.鈥 But even that plan goes awry and instead of heading back to his homeland, the beleaguered hitman ends up on a plane to Iceland under the assumed identity of a Southern televangelist named Father Friendly.

The second of ten Icelandic novels to be published in English by Amazon鈥檚 internationally-oriented publishing imprint, AmazonCrossing, The Hitman鈥檚 Guide to Housecleaning is a darkly comic novel which commingles irreverent indifference with sincere introspection and the possibility of redemption. As Toxic settles into his exile on 鈥淟illiput Island鈥濃攁 country he discovers has no handguns, no army, and hardly any murders (but plenty of good crime writers鈥攖here鈥檚 actually a list of Icelandic crime authors worked into a conversation)鈥攈e reflects back on his life as a killer, both as a soldier during the Yugoslavian civil war, as well as a contract killer. And while it wouldn鈥檛 really be true to say that Toxic feels a deep remorse for his actions, in the course of the novel, he is able to both reconcile with his past and plan ahead for a very different future.

While The Hitman鈥檚 Guide has much to recommend it in terms of plotting, pacing, and characterization, it is particularly interesting on a more “meta” level as well. For one, since Toxic arrives in Iceland with little to no previous knowledge of the country and culture, the book acts as something of a crash course in Icelandic society and idiosyncrasies. Sometimes, his observations about Iceland are more factual: he learns that it was originally christened by Irish monks, that Iceland has no prostitutes, and that 鈥渢he beer costs a bear.鈥 In other cases, the observations are a little more (self-)mocking (鈥淎ccording to Icelandic house rules, you鈥檙e allowed to enter in your shoes if they cost more than two hundred dollars鈥), and a bit opaque for someone unfamiliar with say, But however these cultural snippets are conveyed, upon finishing the novel, the reader comes away with a fairly strong, if somewhat slanted, sense of Reykjav铆k and Icelandic culture.

Another interesting feature is the author鈥檚 use of language. Hallgr铆mur originally wrote The Hitman鈥檚 Guide to Housecleaning in English rather than Icelandic, and has an almost playful approach to rhyme and description throughout the novel. Toxic refers to a contender for his girlfriend鈥檚 affections, an Italian mafioso, as 鈥渢he Talian Mobthrob.鈥 In another passage, he describes the late-setting sun: 鈥淎t 10:33 the sun is still burning on the horizon like an orange lantern at an outdoor Chinese restaurant in Brooklyn.鈥 The descriptions don鈥檛 always hit their mark鈥攖here are a few too many laboriously detailed passages about female anatomy, and sometimes the imagery borders on overwrought (鈥淭he Balkan animal, which is my soul, is always hungry for prey鈥), but overall, the prose and dialogue is fresh and expansive. There are also a host of phonetic jokes about Icelandic words and names that Toxic mishears and then renders into stilted English, making countless puns on street names around the capitol; Icelandic phrases are renamed into things like 鈥淕uard the Beer,鈥 and Reykjav铆k鈥檚 famous Kaffibarinn becomes 鈥淐af茅 Bahrain.鈥

Both The Hitman’s Guide to Housecleaning and Hallgr铆mur Helgason seem assured to find a dedicated audience in the United States. As of this writing, the novel is among Amazon’s Top 20 Mysteries and Thrillers (although neither genre seems to really fit the book). Perhaps its success will allow for more of Hallgr铆mur’s Icelandic language novels to make it into English translation in the future.



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