Am I a Redundant Human Being?
The Austrian actress, writer, and painter Mela Hartwig (1893鈥1967) published relatively little during her lifetime: a collection of stories, a novel, a novella, and a book of poems. She did most of this work between 1921, when she married and retired from acting, and 1938, when she and her husband moved to London to escape the Nazi occupation and annexation of Austria. Am I a Redundant Human Being?, written in 1931, was one of three completed novel manuscripts found (along with a fourth, incomplete novel) among her papers after her death. Unpublished until 2001, when it fueled a renewed interest in Hartwig鈥檚 work in her home country, the novel has now been translated by Kerri A. Pierce and published by Dalkey Archive Press鈥攖he first appearance of any of Hartwig鈥檚 books in English.
Am I a Redundant Human Being? is the monologue of Aloisia (known as Luise) Schmidt, a secretary at a Vienna construction firm. Luise narrates the events of her life from her early childhood at the turn of the twentieth century until about the age of 30. Judging from the intensely psychological focus of the book, it is clear that Hartwig鈥檚 Vienna is also very much the Vienna of Sigmund Freud; the narrative has the feel of a case study in low self-esteem. After an undistinguished school career, Luise鈥檚 life has been a mostly unbroken series of unfulfilling low-skilled clerical jobs and difficult relationships: tentative friendships with women, whom she tends to idolize and imitate excessively; and unstable romances with men, whom she tends to obsess over and who ultimately reject her over her neediness and her weakness of personality.
The bulk of the novel is taken up with the two most recent of these slavish involvements: first with Elizabeth, a narcissistic, melodramatic acting student, and then with Elizabeth鈥檚 arrogant ex-lover, the businessman Egon Z. (Note the quasi-Freudian use of initials to abbreviate surnames for the sake of anonymity, which Luise applies to all the men with whom she has been involved.) Although they come last in the story and take up almost half the book鈥檚 length, these two encounters underscore the essentially repetitive nature of Luise鈥檚 story, since they do not differ much in kind or significance from the earlier ones.
Further emphasizing this sense of repetition, Luise鈥檚 method throughout is to alternate descriptions of events from her life with moments of frank, poignant self-laceration that for the most part outshine in interest and originality the events that give rise to them. Here is one example from late in the novel:
I can鈥檛 remember what finally made me turn against this life, and the weak, pliable person I鈥檇 become, content with dreams鈥攂ut I鈥檒l never forget the disgust that filled me when I realized I was satisfied rather than desperate. I preferred escaping into dreams to confronting the real world. I was content with a phantom lover. I had become capable of deluding myself, precisely so that I wouldn鈥檛 have to see my life was hopeless. But no, I hadn鈥檛 鈥渂ecome鈥 anything鈥擨 had always been like this. I had always fled from every deep, every painful emotion. Such sloth, such cowardice鈥擨 was simply repugnant. It seemed I wasn鈥檛 even capable of well-earned despair. Again I told myself that I鈥檇 never be able to experience true feeling, that I would only ever know its shadow. My whole life I鈥檇 lived off the one wretched ambition that still possessed me: to be more than I was; to reject and despise everything that was in my reach and to set goals I was incapable of reaching; to chase after emotions I was incapable of feeling; to seek out adventures I couldn鈥檛 live up to; to have a friendship that was no friendship, a love that was no love; ambitions yoked to a weak will, a will stuck in the mire of unfulfilled desire.
And another, from just six pages later:
What鈥檚 the point of a person like me, what? A person who will never amount to anything because she doesn鈥檛 believe in herself, who doesn鈥檛 believe in herself because she doesn鈥檛 amount to anything, a completely redundant human being? Who would miss me, who would mourn for me? My parents perhaps, but who else? I saw my mother before me, a vague image that only lasted a moment; I could hear her voice whisper in my ear, warning, imploring: 鈥淎ll you ever think about is yourself.鈥
How often had I heard 鈥淎ll you ever think about is yourself鈥 from her? She鈥檇 said so at every opportunity, and yet I鈥檇 never understood or wanted to understand her. Now I flung her accusation back at myself: 鈥淎ll you ever think about is yourself.鈥 It鈥檚 true, I admitted. All I ever think about is myself. My life might actually have something like a goal, a real purpose, if only I could forget myself, if only I could lose myself in the crowd, if only I could sacrifice myself to some higher purpose. But I had more fear of this sacrifice than of life itself. . . . Even if I knew I鈥檇 get back a thousand times what I鈥檇 given, I simply couldn鈥檛 let go of the tiny, despised bit of self that I still possessed, despite everything. Besides, what was I good for, really? The menial tasks that no one ever noticed? Simply becoming the tiniest cog in a huge machine wasn鈥檛 worth the sacrifice. I couldn鈥檛 afford to forget myself because everyone else forgot me anyway. Yes, I was self-absorbed all right, because otherwise I was nothing at all. Another repulsive revelation.
This degree of painfully heightened self-awareness both gives the book its Freudian flavor of psychoanalytic case study and, while fascinating, renders it static as a work of fiction. For although by the end of her monologue Luise has gained a slightly more mature perspective on her experiences, she has also not changed very much鈥攅xcept perhaps in the intensity of her resignation to her perceived character flaws. In this sense her narrative is if anything anti-psychoanalytic, since after describing her life Luise seems not to have learned how to cope with it any better. Instead, it seems as if her only point in her reminiscences is to remind us again and again of her deficiencies, and the constant repetition tends to undermine the reader鈥檚 desire to sympathize with her plight.
Despite the frustrations of the material, however, praise must be given to Pierce鈥檚 fluid and highly readable translation, whose momentum never flags throughout a work that is not broken into chapters and contains not even a single scene break. Nevertheless, in a few spots the text would have benefited from the attentions of a careful editor: a 鈥渓eeching鈥 instead of a 鈥渓eaching,鈥 two instances of 鈥渉and and hand鈥 for 鈥渉and in hand,鈥 a mistaken reference to a typewriter鈥檚 shift lock as the 鈥渃aps lock,鈥 and a document in which Luise is referred to with the specifically English or British (and somewhat anachronistic) title 鈥淢s.鈥 in place of 鈥淔r盲ulein.鈥 These minor complaints aside, Pierce鈥檚 translation is a pleasure to follow from start to finish, even while Hartwig鈥檚 fiction itself seems to run in place.

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