{"id":336652,"date":"2018-09-06T14:03:30","date_gmt":"2018-09-06T18:03:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/newscenter\/?p=336652"},"modified":"2018-09-06T14:24:15","modified_gmt":"2018-09-06T18:24:15","slug":"peter-lovenheim-writes-about-his-psychology-class-at-rochester-336652","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/newscenter\/peter-lovenheim-writes-about-his-psychology-class-at-rochester-336652\/","title":{"rendered":"In his new book, author takes readers back to psychology class at Rochester"},"content":{"rendered":"

Every time I attended Harry Reis’s class on attachment theory, I was late. That was because the start of Harry’s class at the URochester conflicted with the end of a writing class I was teaching at a nearby\u00a0 college, and even if I made all the lights\u00a0 and quickly found a parking space, the soonest\u00a0 I could get there was ten minutes after class began. So I’d enter the amphitheater-style lecture hall quietly through a side door and take a seat in the back. That turned out to be an advantage, though, because from the back of the room I could see all one hundred or so students, including who was paying attention and who wasn’t.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

That\u2019s Peter Lovenheim<\/a> writing about his experience on campus in the fall of 2011. A successful author and journalist whose articles and essays have appeared in the New York Times<\/em>, the Washington Post<\/em>, Politico, Parade, New York Magazine<\/em> and elsewhere, Lovenheim was at the time auditing a class by Harry Reis<\/a>, a Rochester professor of psychology and the Dean\u2019s professor in Arts, Sciences, and Engineering.<\/p>\n

\"Harry
Harry Reis, professor of psychology. (University photo \/ Brandon Vick)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

When I’d first realized Harry was one of the country’s leading relationship researchers and that he lived and taught about attachment theory in my hometown of Rochester, New York, I invited him for coffee.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Lovenheim, who teaches narrative non-fiction writing at the Writers Center in Bethesda, Maryland, asked Reis over coffee if he could come and sit in on his lectures. \u201cSure,\u201d replied Reis who studies the factors that influence social interactions, and the consequences of different patterns of socializing for health and psychological well-being. Reis is particularly interested in intimacy, attachment, and emotion regulation. Having read a previous book of Lovenheim\u2019s Reis knew that the author was looking for new material.<\/p>\n

Now six years later, Lovenheim has published his seventh book, The Attachment Effect: Exploring the Powerful Ways Our Earliest Bond Shapes Our Relationships and Lives <\/em>(TarcherPerigee, 2018). In his first chapter\u2014for 23 detailed pages\u2014he takes the reader back to Reis\u2019s classroom and his eureka moment when he realized that attachment theory would make a great topic to write about, and could possibly explain his own failure at lasting romantic success.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is a damn good theory,” Harry was saying as I took my seat that first day. He stood six foot three, had a deep, resonant voice, and spoke with a slow, deliberate cadence. “We think it explains an unbelievable amount of human behavior: about our childhoods, about intimate adult relationships, about nearly all relationships throughout our lives,” Lovenheim writes.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The essence of attachment theory? Here\u2019s how Reis explained it to his class in 2011:<\/p>\n

Human babies have the longest period of vulnerability of any species on earth. For seven or eight years of your life, if there isn\u2019t someone taking care of you, forget it\u2014you\u2019re dead. If a tiger comes, you have no chance of survival.\u201d<\/p>\n

Harry paused, scanning the class.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, so you\u2019re an infant,\u201d he continued, \u201cand there\u2019s a tiger coming. What\u2019s your way of surviving? If you can find a caregiver and keep that caregiver close\u2014someone who\u2019ll provide you food and shelter, and when the tiger comes, take you away from danger\u2014this would be your way of surviving.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo how do you locate and then keep close to that caregiver?\u201d As he moved toward an answer, I felt the class\u2019s tension rise. \u201cHow do you find and hold close to that caregiver?\u201d he repeated.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou cry!\u201d he shouted. \u201cYou cry, meaning, \u2018Something\u2019s going on that\u2019s scaring me! I want somebody to protect me!\u2019\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

How did Reis react to finding himself at the center of Lovenheim\u2019s first chapter?<\/p>\n

\u201cMy first thought was, \u2018Ha, you made me sound too good,\u2019\u201d laughs Reis. \u201cI thought it made me sound a bit dramatic, like an actor on a stage, building to the point of the message.\u201d<\/p>\n

But, \u201chey, the medium is the message, right?\u201d Reis agrees.<\/p>\n

\n

Want to read more? Here\u2019s the entire chapter from Lovenheim\u2019s new book.<\/a><\/p>\n

From The Attachment Effect: Exploring the Powerful Ways Our Earliest Bond Shapes Our Relationships and Lives <\/a>by Peter Lovenheim, published by TarcherPerigee, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House, LLC. Copyright \u00a9 2018 by Peter Lovenheim.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Peter Lovenheim, whose articles have appeared in the New York Times<\/em>, Politico, <\/em> and elsewhere, uses the first chapter of his new book to remember his time in professor Harry Reis’s classroom.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":942,"featured_media":336692,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[456],"tags":[20452,18592,20302,16072],"class_list":["post-336652","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-society-culture","tag-book-authors","tag-department-of-psychology","tag-harry-reis","tag-school-of-arts-and-sciences"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nIn his new book, author takes readers back to psychology class at Rochester<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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