responsiveness in even mundane interactions may reignite sexual desire<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\nThe research began as an inquiry into what psychologists call the \u201cintimacy-desire paradox\u201d: while people strive for intimacy in their relationships, such familiarity doesn\u2019t seem to foster desire.<\/p>\n
\u201cAdjusting to married life is a challenge, and many newlyweds don\u2019t do it particularly well,\u201d says Reis. \u201cHere you\u2019ve been dating, and that\u2019s all exciting\u2014but now you\u2019ve got dirty socks to contend with.\u201d As the years tick by, those piles of dirty socks don\u2019t exactly add to the mystery.<\/p>\n
Previous studies hadn\u2019t established whether emotional intimacy promotes or undermines sexual desire. Now Reis and Birnbaum\u2019s research suggests that, at least in certain circumstances, there may not be a paradox at all.<\/p>\n
What they found is that intimacy itself doesn\u2019t fuel or hamper desire\u2014instead, it\u2019s what the intimacy signals that matters.<\/p>\n
Responsive couples are willing to invest in their relationships, and show a deep understanding of a partner. Responsiveness is actually a kind of intimacy\u2014and likely it encourages desire because it conveys the impression that a partner is worth pursuing.<\/p>\n
And they found that women\u2019s perceptions of themselves and others was even more strongly affected by responsiveness than men\u2019s\u2014an effect that translated into higher levels of desire for the responsive partner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Since the 1980s, psychology professor Harry Reis has been putting human relationships under a microscope. Over the years his research has led to insights into matters of the heart\u2014both figuratively and literally.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":752,"featured_media":217522,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[456],"tags":[18592,4626,20302,105,13992,16072],"class_list":["post-216732","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-society-culture","tag-department-of-psychology","tag-featured-post","tag-harry-reis","tag-relationships","tag-rochester-review","tag-school-of-arts-and-sciences"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
Psychologist's research probes matters of the heart<\/title>\n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n\t \n\t \n\t \n \n \n \n\t \n\t \n\t \n